Mah First Day

Last night my stress levels were through the roof! My head was filled with ridiculous worries that my car wouldn't start this morning and I would miss my first day of nursing school, or I would forget some crucial document and would be kicked out of the program. Ya know, absolutely ridiculous thoughts. I double and triple checked everything and I hardly got a wink of sleep last night because I was just so nervous. Is anyone else like that before they start something new or is it just me?

It doesn't help that my whole life I have had this reoccurring nightmare that I realize half way through the school year that there's all these classes I was supposed to have been going to that I somehow didn't know about and I end up being WAY behind all the other students and end up failing. I have no idea why I always have that dream but I seriously do all the time, whether I am in school or not. Anyone want to analyze that one for me?

Wouldn't you know it though, the stars aligned this morning and my car did indeed start, I got to school on time, I made it through orientation and I even got to know some of my awesome classmates. First day of nursing school was a success and I made it through relatively unscathed!

All my worries were for naught.

Now I am feeling more on the excited end of things, thank goodness.

I have to say that five years ago, heck - even three years ago, I would have never guessed that I would end up in nursing school, but I am really glad that it worked out that way. I kind of feel like I got led into it, ya know? I don't know which of you guys believe in a higher being, but this is definitely one of those moments for me where I feel like God nudged me in this direction, even if it wasn't what I had originally wanted, but I feel at peace that it is the best place for me, and I am quite happy with it.

Strange how that works.

bits and pieces.

 

Lately I have felt in desperate need of a vacation to some far-off place. I have been stressed out and tired and scared and nervous. A jumble of all sorts of unpleasant emotions. I have allowed small things to get the better of me and I am ashamed of it. I guess you could say I have been feeling overwhelmingly human. 

I have so many goals and dreams and ideas and this cold winter has kept me trapped in my apartment forgetting to accomplish so many of them. I have lost sight of what is important, I have gotten a little lost, and I am tired of feeling that way.

Tomorrow is my last day at my job, and next week I begin nursing school. I want to take full advantage of this big change and grab life by the horns and turn it into what I have always dreamed of it being.

I want to purge myself of fear, doubt, and stress.

I want to fill myself with faith, trust, hope, and joy.

I want to refocus my vision on the truly important things in life. I want to renew my relationship with God, I want to take better care of my body, I want to strengthen my marriage, and work on refining my good qualities and smoothing out the bad. I want to surround myself with good company, and fill my time with meaningful activities. I want to get rid of all the bad vibes in my life. I want to change.

I'm not really a new year's resolutionist but it seems like this post is sort of going that direction, isn't it? I suppose I have hopped on that bandwagon after all.

"Don't worry! It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. the Lord will not forsake us."

- Gordon B. Hinckley

"When things go bad, don't go with them."

- Elvis Presley

"Try a little harder, to be a little better."

- Gordon B. Hinckley

              "Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside."

Hello, friends.

// Hip-hip hooray for a brand new year. I'm actually quite excited for this one, mainly because I am going to nursing school (in like, one week, ahhh.) and I cannot wait. Another cool thing is that Nathan starts diesel mechanic school in June, so three cheers for school.

// Mainly I'm thrilled about some change, I was getting burnt out and needed to head a different direction and feel like I've finally found that direction.

// A not cool thing about the new year is the gym for like.. the next 3 weeks. There is a wall of sweat that accumulates and drips down on all the windows from all the extra sweaty bodies. Ick.  I'm just going to sit quietly in my home until all the new year's resolution-ers fall of the wagon. Am I a terrible human for saying that?

// I am getting a new couch today. It is like this rust colored velvety number that used to belong to my great grandparents. So in reality it's actually a very old couch, but I'm excited about. Our current couch, as lovely and plaid as it is, is in need of replacement.

// This friday is my last day at my job as a therapy aid! It is bittersweet. I am going to really miss all the old people that I work with and love, and I'll miss my coworkers as well. I mean I've been there for almost two years now, and I've grown rather attached. But it's simply time to move on.

Wishing you all the best of Saturdays.

Peace Out.