Thoughts On Nursing School

I will be totally honest, I never wanted to be a nurse.

My mother, who has been a nurse for 20+ years would always try to convince me to go to school to be one and I just wanted nothing to do with it. In high school I worked at a long term care/rehab center, and my experiences there only seemed to reaffirm my non-desire to be a nurse. I was recreation aid, and I thought that was a cool job because I just got to do bingo and what not, and didn't have to deal with poop and bodily fluids and that was about as far as I ever wanted to go in the health care field.

So I went on my merry way.

Fast forward two years and an associates degree later and I moved back down to Utah with my brand new husband and I got a job working as a therapy aid at a rehab/skilled nursing center. Somehow I had gotten myself back into a health care setting when all I wanted to be was a florist (whaaat?). About six months into working at this place I remember this strange moment when I went to the oral surgeons office to get my wisdom teeth removed and the RN came in to start my IV when this weird thought came into my head: 'hey, she has a really awesome job! that would be kind of cool to be a nurse like her.' For some reason in that moment I just wanted to be her. I don't know why. I guess I thought she was the real deal. Maybe it was the drugs they were giving me.

Anticlimactic I know, but regardless of the reasons my (albeit small) desire to be a nurse began.

Over the course of the next year or so I began talking a lot to the nurses at my work and asking them about how and where they got their education and if they liked being a nurse and other such things. The more I talked to them the more interested I became.

It becomes quite a long story after that so I'll spare you all the details, but after a lot of searching and God continuously tapping me on the shoulder reminding me this was what I needed to do I finally applied to a school.

Then I got an interview.

Then I got in???

I had gone from never wanting to be a nurse to being accepted into a nursing school. Talk about 0-60 in 3 seconds. It was a weird feeling.

When I started school I have to admit I felt SO out of place. Most of the girls there had 'wanted to be nurses their whole lives!!!' and 'this is my calling!!' type of deal. Holy cow I am such a misfit, was all I could think. Everyone goes through a moment of self doubt whenever they begin a new endeavor, though, am I right? It's like in the Hero's Journey (11th grade english anyone?) when the hero begins his quest and is in total denial that he is the one for the job and that he definitely shouldn't be doing this. We all go through that, I just felt exceptionally underqualified.

I have only been in school for four weeks, but my feelings of inadequacy have improved a little. I mean I did stick a 2 inch needle into somebody's arm this week and I only flinched a little bit! Haha.

Today was a real turning point though. I had my very first clinical following around a home health nurse today and I LOVED it. She was so great about answering all my questions and after spending the day with her I realized she is the type of nurse that I want to be. She was a great teacher and example to me. She made me feel really good about myself and made me feel like I could do this. She helped me to be more confident, and I recognize that not all clinical experiences are that good so I am so grateful this was my first one!

While I have a long way to go till I graduate, and get to where my goals are set, I finally feel like I am actually in the right place, and I'm really excited about this nursing thing.

If there's one thing I have learned in my short four weeks as a nursing student, it's that life doesn't always turn out how you originally planned it, but whatever does happen is for the best. God is mindful of us, and knows what our potential is, he knows our talents and gifts better than we do, and he will help us to succeed, no matter what path we end up on.

If you made it all the way to the end of this post, you are a champ.

Peace Out.