Poolside Chillin'

My lovely friend Tara is getting married this week and so last weekend we threw her a bachelorette party at the Little America in Salt Lake for her one last hoorah as a single woman.

Just look at this pool.

It was nice to relax and swim and then go order a bunch of room service and pig out on cheesecake and other various desserts with just the girls! Even though we were only a half an hour away from home it felt like we were on a legit vacation. 

Speaking of vacations I have quite a few things I want to go do this summer. I mean, I always have a list, but I'd really like to check some of the things off of it this year. For one, I've been dying to go camping at Goblin Valley. I also have this weird desire to go hang out in Las Vegas for a weekend, even though I don't gamble. But I DO enjoy a good buffet, so Las Vegas seems like a good place.

Only had to work half of a shift today! Nice to come home at a semi-decent hour. Too bad I don't get that set up every day.

Most days I show up to work and it's like this:

....and then I'm there until like midnight.

Good thing I like my job.

We have big news! We are moving. After three straight years of living in the exact same basement apartment we are looking for a new place. As much as I've loved our cute little neighborhood, it's time we found a bigger space with preferably some windows and a yard. Please and thank you.

Yeehaw

Nathan and I went for a horseback ride by the lake last night and despite being eaten alive by swarms of bugs we had an exceptional time. I've said it once, I'll say it again, nothing is better than being on the back of a horse.

.......except maybe walking through the gates of Disneyland. That one is up for debate.

We've got a serious hottie on our hands here people! Nathan doesn't ride nearly as often as I do but I'm thinking about getting him on horses more often this summer. Considering the fact he's a country boy n' all I think it is pretty much a requirement that he gains this crucial skill. Plus doesn't he just look like a natural?

OK, I had to share the above picture because I was in the drive-thru at JCW's and I casually take a glance in my rear view mirror and I see these kids pull up behind me in a GOLF CART! Haha, I love that. Reminds me of some rebellious thing I might do. All the roads surrounding JCW's are really busy roads, so I'm not entirely sure how they even got there in their golf cart, but however they did, it's awesome. Hats off to them.

A Jumble

2016 has been one strange roller coaster ride for me. I've discovered sides of myself I never even knew existed - the good, the bad and the ugly.

We are currently on the brink of moving and we are entirely at a loss as of what to do. I will spare you the boring details but pretty much our choices consist of play it safe and stick around Utah County, or sacrifice another two years of our lives and live in poverty so Nathan can do two more years of school in Logan.

We visited Logan this past weekend, and while I recognize that Cache Valley is indeed a lovely area I was just NOT getting good vibes from it.

I have nothing against small towns either, mind you. I love small towns and all their charm. I mean hell, Nathan grew up in Driggs, Idaho: population 103.

But as for Logan, I just wasn't feeling it.

All my life I've felt fairly confident in my life choices, but as for what we should do on this matter I am at an utter loss. Totally dumbfounded. Maybe it's because my wants and my better judgement are out of sync, I don't know.

So where we shall live and what Nathan is going to do about either continuing his education further or not is to be determined.

It gives me a headache just thinking about it so let's stop.

In other news it was 'Nurse's Week' this past week. Which really doesn't mean a whole lot, but I did get a bag of various snack foods from my work so I guess that was cool.

My first three months as an LPN have been a real trial by fire, but my nurse confidence it getting better I think. You know they say it takes three years for a nurse to be even considered 'competent'? That's a long time, folks, and I still have another year of nursing school left. I love my job though. I love the cute old people I take care of, and I love being the nurse in charge. It's awesome.

I can feel that summer is right around the corner, and I've been itching to participate in all my favorite summer-y activities! I think Nathan and I will be purchasing long boards this year fo' sho'. Also I can't wait to get the first initiatory summer snow cone and go hang out at the swimming pool. We went to my brother's baseball game this last week, and if baseball doesn't speak summer I don't know what does.

Nathan loves it when I snap pictures of him in the car, HA! He loves me.

Whelp. It's been a real slice. Wishing you all a fantastic week!

The Cold, Hard Truth

Lately I have been SO tired.

As in I can't get out of bed before 1030 tired.

As in I sleep 10 hours a night on my days off tired.

As in I drink 100,000 oz of caffeine a day, trying to battle my tiredness, tired.

I've been working about 50 hours a week since I began my new job as a nurse. The first two months were REALLY hard for me. I felt a copious amount of anxiety every time I'd go into work and I'd suffer even more anxiety for the days following my shifts. I spent all my time off worrying about work. I'd dream about it every night! It was awful.

I'd cry a lot and for the first time in my life I felt really low, and well to be honest, depressed.

I had never really experienced many emotional struggles or difficulties in my life up to this point. I had always felt happy. I mean sure you get blue days now and again, but I'd never experienced such a long streak of utter sadness.

I've been praying a lot and feel like this time of struggle has been good in a sense because I have had to rely on God constantly for help. I've asked Nathan to give me a lot of blessings in the course of the last few months, and they have all been very reassuring. It's nice to know that God is there and has your back even (and honestly, especially when) you're going through difficult times.

My mom had a good talk with me and out of tough love scheduled an appointment with a doctor so I could get on some anti-depressants about 6 weeks ago.

And although I put up a good fight and insisted I didn't need to be on anti-depressants I'm immensely grateful that I did start on them, because it has helped SO much. 

Like really, I feel so much better.

I know there's a stigma associated with anxiety and depression, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I've struggled with it recently.

Frankly the vast majority of people suffer it at some point in their lives, and it seems to be increasingly more common among my generation.

I am about to hit my three month mark of being a nurse and although I still have a looooonnnngggg way to go until I am completely comfortable with my position, and I know I still have a lot to improve upon in my life overall, I am feeling better day by day.

"If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill" 

-Henry B. Eyring