Adjusting My Sails

I have a LOT of homework I really should be doing, but I've decided to use this blog as a means to procrastinate today. Plus I feel like I need to purge myself emotionally. When I weave my pent up feeling into words it makes me feel better.

So here we are.

I've felt like a total loser the past few days with a big heavy black cloud of disappointment hanging above my head and making itself my best friend.

I keep feeling like I'm stuck in a pit of sand, trying to move forward like everyone else but the issue is everyone else is on one of those flat escalators at the airport, being perpetuated into happier more successful futures at speeds much greater than mine.

Comparison is such an awful game; but it's hard not to when you've been married five years and have no children and no house and are back in school for ANOTHER year of your life. Meanwhile everyone else has got their shiz together.

I know this isn't true but I feel like because I have no child yet I haven't done anything of any worth or meaning. That my existence is somehow inferior to those who have children. That nothing I have accomplished is even remotely noteworthy because I'm not a mother.

I feel all this even despite knowing that I am in the place and on the path that is right for ME. But just because I know I'm on the right path doesn't mean I'm not plagued with doubts and fears and jealousy. Maybe that's a lack of faith on my part. A weakness of character. A flaw of my ever so present human-ness.

So desperately I want to finally prove myself worthy of the blessings I seek! So desperately do I want those things now! I feel like I have been patient, I have waited, I have worked hard, I have suffered, I have cried, I have sacrificed.

How much longer do I have to wait, God?

Thomas S. Monson once said "You can't change the wind, but you can adjust the sails".

I like that quote, but the problem is I'm kind of a crappy sailor!

I know God is always right and always upholds his promises.... so I guess I'm going to just have to get beaten around by all these winds until I finally learn how to steer this freakin' ship!

Independence Day

Since we were all going to Hawaii this summer my parents opted out of throwing the Cul-de-sac of fire at their house so we celebrated at my Grandma and Grandpa Abbott's house in Provo. Before my parents moved into the house they currently live in we used to always spend 4th of Julys here at my Grandmas. Lighting our own fireworks and then afterwards climbing on her roof to watch the Stadium of Fire in the distance.

Cousin Shelby.

Grandma and Grandpa Abbott. Never a dull moment with them.

Every year you can pretty much guarantee all the men will be throwing crackle bombs at each other all night. (which I do not condone by the way, but people have the right to make stupid choices so whatever)

Uncle Bean. Who is in the running to win Truck Norris from Maverick! Cool huh! He visits Maverick like two times a day so I feel like he definitely deserves to win.

Fourth of July has always been one of my favorite holidays (only second to Christmas). Nothing like eating barbecued burgers while hanging out with your dysfunctional yet awesome family members and trying not to burn off your eyebrows from the showers of sparks raining down from the fireworks.

Good times always.

Kauai Family Vacation

I've said it before on this blog, my mom is obsessed with Kauai. Her love of Kauai is akin to my love for Disneyland, and if you know anything about me I really love Disneyland.

We went to Kauai last year (click here to read about that trip), and like two weeks after we got home from that trip my mom was already scheduling another trip for this year. Nathan and I weren't going to go because hey, we wanted to do something different, go somewhere new! But then my little sister Maggie got engaged and they decided they wanted to get married in Kauai on the beach.

So then how could we not go? Couldn't miss my sisters wedding!

And so I present to you the Abbott/Greene/Jensen/Hartshorn/Turner family vacation!

Last year we piled 18 people into one beach house and this year we decided we could definitely top that and piled 20 people into the beach house! There was only three total beds so we blew up a lot of air mattresses, hung up a hammock and made use of all the couches. The sleeping arrangements weren't so much of a challenge as sharing only two toilets between 20 people (20/2=10 people per toilet, AH!). But we made it work. Nathan went into the jungle in the backyard when he had to pee, let's put it that way.

So I've decided to organize this post by event/location instead of in chronological order, because I can't remember the order of everything. We were there for 12 days and it all blurs together. But I digress. So without further ado......

AIRPORT

All 294498757 of us were taking different flights but all leaving the same day, Nathan and I's flight was leaving later in the day than everyone else's so when we arrived at the airport and saw that all my family was standing around at the airline counter we were a little surprised. Their flight into San Diego got cancelled and so they all had to be put onto different flights, My dad/brother/cousin got sent to Seattle with like a 10 hour layover there (crappy, crappy) my aunt/uncle/cousins got sent to Phoenix and my mom and other brother were sent somewhere else, can't remember. Anyway, so they were all kind of in a bad mood that morning, understandably.

Luck smiled upon Nathan and I however and none of our flights were cancelled.

One cool thing though was the airline gave my dad food vouchers for like $250 that had to be spent THAT DAY so we went to one of the little snack shops and my dad was like 'everyone load up!!' so we just started grabbing shiz left and right. My mom bought like 10 beef jerky packets, I filled my arms full of sodas and snacks and junk. It felt like we had unlimited money but with those airport prices that $250 was gone pretty quick.

Arrival in Lihue airport! (pictured: me, Reese (brother in law) and Milo (brother))

JEEP

Last year we kept talking about how cool it would've been to have had a jeep! And this year we did! Nathan and I discovered rag tops kind of suck though. Like if I ever bought a jeep for myself I would definitely get a removable hard top.

It was pretty awesome driving around the island though with the top down. The wind in our hair, sunburning our faces and arms.... jamming to tunes.

Side note: Kauai's radio stations (and there are only like 2) are CRAP. Total crap. So we bought an auxiliary cord.

Side note #2: If you have a jeep in Hawaii you MUST put the top on every night, because it rains there like 5 times intermittently throughout the day and night. I say this because my parents left their top down one night and the next day their jeep was filled with 2 inches of water. Nathan and I had to rip out their carpet and hang it out to dry. We also learned the magic of jeep drain plugs. Those are a nice feature. 

Also the jeep thing is cool because you feel like you are in Jurassic Park. Or maybe that you're Indiana Jones. (cool fact - scenes from Jurassic Park and Indiana Jones were filmed in Kauai).

THE WEDDING

Is that a beautiful sight? My sister, Maggie (or Marge as we call her) was married on Anini Beach, the beach right in front of our beach house. It is a lovely place that is protected by reefs and so the water is calm and clear and blue. She had a florist make a cute little floral circle (as opposed to like an arch/alter)

And so a new brother in law was born, Reese.

My Aunt Robin was the 'officiant' (I believe is the term). So that was kind of cool, also kind of funny that she was the one that married them!

LUAU

After the wedding ceremony we all went to the Smith Family Luau!

The luau takes place and some gorgeous property! I mean just look at that.

They have a beautiful garden with some pretty neat trees and flowers.

And goats. Wonderful goats.

The food was the best food we seriously had the entire time we were on the island. Kalua pork and legit Hawaiian punch. Coconut cake. Veggies. Salads. Potatoes. A feast.

After dinner they had a show with hula dancers and fire wielding islander men, but alas no pictures.

BEACH HOUSE/ANINI BEACH

We stayed at the same beach house we did last year. The best part of it is that it is only about 100 steps away from Anini beach. All you do is cross the street, walk through a little palm lined alley and bam, you're there.

My brothers.

Such a beautiful place. I've been all up the coast of California and there isn't a single beach there that can even hold a candle to this place. I'm talking clean, smooth sand and crystal clear water! Also the water is like bathtub warm and full of cool fishies.

I'm scared of the fish, but it's still a cool feature.

BUBBA'S BURGERS

Nathan and I talked about it and it's not the best burger we've ever had, but it's definitely the best burger on Kauai. And the best part is you get to eat at this little bar with a direct ocean view. Bubba's Burgers is a must stop in Kauai (I think there might also be one or two on the other islands as well?). 

PADDLE BOARDING

It was Nathan's dream to rent paddle boards. It was my first time on one. At first I was a little shaky but eventually got the hang of it. We actually spent three hours paddle boarding on this beautiful river in Hanalei but I don't have pictures of that because I don't trust myself with a phone on a paddle board. Happy to announce that I did not fall off even once!

HIDDEN BEACH

OK so it's not actually called hidden beach, I don't know what this place is called. All I know is you have to drive through a jungle-y secluded neighborhood, down to the end of a long road and cross a small river to get to it. I think this was personally my favorite place we went to because a) there's shade (I'm a redhead and suffer all the things that come along with that e.g. sunburn) and b) the waves aren't super big and overwhelming, but also not super lame, kind of in between. That way you don't get tossed around like a washing machine, but at the same time you get to kind of ride the waves a bit too.

POLIHALE

This is my brothers' all time favorite place because the beach is HUGE and the waves are massive and powerful! Great for boogie boarding. Also great for being punished by the ocean. Think chaffing and sand in places where the sun don't shine. Like it took Nathan 8 months after our last Polihale trip to get all the sand out of his ears.

I've been here in the winter time once and the waves were honestly the biggest waves my eyes have ever seen. In the summer the surf is not quite as big. So rookies like us can actually get in the water.

Also you should note Kauai has a 'jungle' side and a 'desert' side. Anini beach is on the jungle side and Polihale is clear on the other side of the island as far as you can go on the desert side. It's super hot there, and the sand scorches your feet! There's even cacti. Didn't think I'd see a cactus in Hawaii, but hey I did.

Always with my Diet Dr. Pepper.

There was a group of guys at the top of the beach who had a built a slide into the sand out of a big sheet of plastic and they had run a hose clear from the bathrooms to the beach to turn it into a big water slide! There was a ramp at the bottom that launched you into a small pool of water. They kept trying to convince us all to go down it and finally I just decided 'hey why not' and so me and a bunch of my cousins and Nate all went down it several times. I only have videos, so no pics, but I assure you it did happen. 

When it started to get dark we roasted hot dogs and s'mores! I think I'm going to label that day as my favorite in Kauai.

LAPPERT'S

Nathan and I quickly became obsessed with this ice cream shop in Princeville called Lappert's. I don't know if it's just because we spent all day in the sun or what but I found myself craving their ice cream every single night! So we pretty much went there every single night.

Always a huge line. Totally worth it.

They have the ultimate cookie dough and oreo flavors because the chunks of cookie dough and oreos they put in their ice cream are HUGE. I'm talking like golf ball sized chunks. It's so perfect and wonderful. It's what all ice cream professing to have cookie dough or oreos in it should aspire to be.

MISC. 

Mini golf! (I stunk at it)

Nathan had to pick me up and put me on this cement pedastal thing. I am not skilled enough to jump up there myself.

Kilauea lighthouse.

Nathan and I went to sacrament meeting in Kapaa! So cool to see the church in Kauai. Everyone really did say 'Aloha' at beginning of all their talks and the congregation would all say 'Aloha' back. The chapel was absolutely beautiful, with all these big glass french doors lining the walls.

NA PALI COAST

Maybe it's just me but I feel like the jewel of Kauai is the Na Pali coast. Such a beautiful place. Lovely beaches and tall green mountains covered in waterfalls and mist. And mystery.

Queen's Bath.

Cave explorers.

Not really.

Caves are scary.

Nate probably would not approve of this picture. Oh well.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN. This place is incredible!!!!

In conclusion Kauai is a gorgeous place and I have it on good authority it is the most beautiful Hawaiian island. They don't call it the Garden Isle for nothing, people.

I must admit after 12 days of 100% humidity I was so grateful to come home to my dry desert Utah home and experience air conditioning again, and fountain drinks.