Nostalgia

As the end of my senior year in high school approached I began to anticipate feelings of sadness that would assuredly come.

Graduation passed.

None such feelings came.

I took some sort of strange pride in that. Like "Ha! I'm not sad at all about high school being over! Take that you bums!"

But this afternoon, I came across this video that was made for Cavestock.

I don't know what it was about watching a bunch of people I know dancing around the halls of American Fork High to Chris Brown... but I felt a momentary twinge of sadness.

High school was awesome. Super awesome.

And ya know what I'm gonna kinda miss it.

I was talking to my aunt the other day about why high school is such a huge event in people's lives. I mean people talk about "Back when I was in high school..." all the time. There's like countless movies and TV shows about high school. I swear people just can't get enough of it. My aunt said it makes such a huge impact on people because it's the ending of childhood. It is the transitioning point from little-kid-wearing-footsies-and-watching-saturday-morning-cartoons-with-your-favorite-sugar-cereal to big-adult-kid-wearing-paisley-ties-and-eating-Raisin-Bran - cuz let's be honest, anything else might cause the diabetes.

It's surreal almost. I feel like I've kind of waited my whole life just for this moment, and now that I'm here I'm not so sure what to expect.

I'm moving out. To like, Idaho. In like... 1 1/2 months. Woah. My parents are giving up my room! Heck, I might never have a room all to myself ever again. That's a crazy thought. But ya know what, I'm totally ready for it. I'm ready to move on and start the next stage in life. I appreciated my time at American Fork High School. It was time well spent, I'd hope to think. I will miss it now and again I'm sure. But now it is time to move on.

Anyway, my nostalgic feelings are over.

I am Hannah. I am nearly 19 years old. Bring it, world!

Tomato Cages

This is how I've been spending a good deal of my free time.

Since I am currently enslaved to working toward college tuition costs, I have been unable to afford my usual flower roof garden. So instead I decided to take over the family garden, considering that my parents are too busy to do it themselves this summer it all worked out quite conveniently.

There's something about watching your very own plants grow that is real special.

There's something about weeding everyday and dodging leaping spiders and other strange insects that isn't special at all.

In the end, when I shall reap the fruits of my labor... or in this case vegetables, it shall be worth it.

Try gardening, it's therapeutic.

Discontinued

They stopped making my favorite eyeshadow. That's right - DISCONTINUED.

I'm a little confused. I've pretty much worn the exact same shade every day for like... three years.

In fact I think I've become quite attached L'Oreal's #823 Bronzes.

Pathetic? Yes. But I'll have you people know that I have bought lots of makeup over the years and have still not found a more awesome copper color.

I searched Wal-Mart, I searched target. It was nowhere to be found. I've just been going eyeshadow-less for like a week. I even tried buying some other copper eyeshadow from Revlon. It's just not the same, guys.

I feel like I just lost a kitten, or like my favorite shirt shrunk in the wash, or like my ice cream just slid off the cone onto the ground as I was trying to lick it.

Truly this is a devastating moment. I'm going to have to figure out some sort of alternative.

I am now officially on a search for a new favorite eyeshadow.

Empty...

Questions

Sometimes answers are witheld from us so that we can grow a little first.

Sometimes these questions bring you on your knees every single night, and you feel exhausted because you've been trying so hard for so long.

But really, that's all part of the plan, because you need to learn to rely.

To trust.

And finally, once you learn to trust, and you've grown up a little...

That's when you receive your answers.

The Silversmith

Some time ago, a few ladies met to study the scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse:

"And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (Malachi 3:3).

One lady decided to visit a silversmith, and report to the others on what he said about the subject.

She went accordingly, and without telling him the reason for her visit, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?"


"Oh, yes ma'am," replied the silversmith; "I must sit and watch the furnace constantly, for, if the time necessary for refining is exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be destroyed"

God sees it necessary to put His children into the furnace; but His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.

Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "How do you know when the process is complete?"

"That's quite simple," replied the silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished."

Running Down a Dream

If you will remember back to this post - it was one of my dreams to run through a lavender field.

Today, I at last realized that dream. And oh what a sweet smelling dream it was.

You know what, I don't even care that I had to wake up at the butt crack of dawn this morning! And then drive an hour away to some little hicktown called Mona (wherever the heck that is)! Because it was totally worth it!

Before the race.

As you can see Whitney and I, though much shorter, are also much more muscular than the two lads next to us.

Eh who am I kidding? Jackson and Cade totally dusted us. They both got a time like below 30 minutes. They even had time to run back up the road to come find us after they had finished.

Here was Whitney and I's strategy:

"Ok, let's run to that pole ahead of us and then we'll walk like a mile..or two."

*run only half way to pole*

"Alright... *pant* .... whew.... ok... nevermind *pant*.... let's start walking here..."

Although we did end up walking basically half of it, you've got to give us props because the both of us finished with a time of 38 minutes! Not bad if you ask me!

After the race. Notice the look of pain on our faces. Well... the girl's faces.

Oh boy those fields were sure beautiful too! Lavender is mah favorite flower. And through my panting, struggling breaths, I was able to occasionally catch a whiff of its sweet scent, and also the scent of some sweaty man who hadn't bathed for a while... or just had terrible running B.O.

Basically, it was just everything I imagined it to be.

You know what I think is funny? They tell you that you get a "free" T-shirt. But really, you paid twenty bucks to register for the race, so pretty much it's a twenty dollar T-shirt. I don't know about you guys, but I wasn't fooled!!! Who do they think they are, trying to trick me like that? Sheesh.

My Dog Zoe

Not gonna lie, I'm feelin pretty redneck writing about my dog but I just got to.

The best dog my family has ever had, died today. I was driving home from work and saw her on the side of the road. I got out to take her home and she couldn't even get up. It broke my heart. I sat there with her, waiting for my brother to come help me. Two people stopped and pulled over and asked me if there was something they could do. I was kind of embarrassed because I was crying, but I told them that she was 13 years old and was simply old and had been on the verge of death for a while. It was her time to go. One lady gave me a cold water bottle and I poured it on Zoe to maybe make the heat a little less intense on her. Soon Milo came and he picked her up and carried her home.

Once we got her home she layed down on the rug and she couldn't even lift her head. Her breathing sounded horrible. Eventually she got up and walked to the backyard, then she fell down, and there she died.

I was sobbing next to her because she's been my dog my whole life. We got her when I was just five years old. When I was seven she had puppies and me and my little brother took them to the football games that were out behind my old house in American Fork and we gave them away to people.

She was my dad's duck hunting dog. She was smart. And she rarely ever barked. Super calm dog, never chased after cats or nothin. She always did what you told her to. She was always there for you.

When ever I'd drive down to the gas station I would put her in the bed of my truck and she'd drive around with me. I'm gonna miss her alot.

My little brother dug her grave out behind her kennel, and I sat there and watched him dig the whole thing. Once we buried her I planted some of the tulip bulbs that had been unearthed from the digging. I really hope they grow back. My brother wants to put a japanese maple tree over it.

I feel even more redneck because I've been listening to that country song - "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away". There's this line in it where Justin Moore talks about going to find his "old bird dog Bo and take him huntin' one more time." That's kind of how I feel right now, haha.

I guess you just don't realize how attached you get to a dog until you lose it after 13 years.

Well here's to you Zoe. Best dog I've ever had. You are as good as it gets.

A Summer Morning in the Life of Hannah

10:34 am: Wake up, look at clock *sigh* well so much for enjoying the morning...
10:40 am: I will only read one page of this book then I will go shower and do other productive things!
11:14 am: That was definitely more than one page...
11:25 am: Begin boiling water, shuck corn.
11:40 am: Attept to continue reading book while eating buttery corn on the cob with both hands. Hmm this is somewhat difficult. Oh well.
12:00 pm: I should really get in the shower.
12:05 pm: Commence reading book.
12:10 pm: Text Shelby - "Hey do you want to come over and play video games later?"
12:17 pm: Now how did I get here... on my blog. Really Hannah?!

This is why I love summer.

This is also why I dislike summer.

Yes, life is truly great when you can sleep in as long as wish, and then when you do finally wake up you realize you have no pressing engagements for the day and so are therefore free to do whatever you want the whole day. I mean come on - "Do you want to come over and play video games later?", did I honestly just text that? Haha. Oh yeah.

and

No, life is definitely not great when you waste away a perfectly good morning sleeping in way too long, and then continue to waste it away being slothful and laying under your covers with morning breath and disheveled bed hair reading a book. Then eating corn on the cob for breakfast. And then making plans to play video games later.

I can't decide whether that's awesome or horrible.

Truthfully right now I'm leaning more toward awesome. In all fairness I feel slightly justified since I have to wake up at 6 am 3-4 days a week to work.

But still.

I've continually vowed that I "Will wake up at 9 each morning! And exercise! And eat healthy! And then save a stranded kitten in a tree! And help grandma cross the road!"

Perhaps I exaggerate a bit. In fact I have no plans to save stranded kittens.

Or save the world.

Never have had that desire. Does that make me ignoble? That I have never really felt the desire to change the world? To be honest I'm quite content living my life and eating my corn on the cob. All I really need to feel satisfied is to simply do the best that I can do each day and to help those close around me to maybe feel a little happier.

I have some pretty simple dreams.

-Marry some dangerously handsome man and spend eternity with him
-Have children and raise them up right. Teach them about honor and responsibility and kindness and what not
-Become a dang good cook. I want my children to be able to boast about how their mother bakes "The best cookies this side of the Mississippi!"
-Visit the Bayou
-Have a nice little house with white siding and blue shutters and bright, beautiful, pink flowers hanging from baskets all around the porch. Or perhaps just a pink house with white shutters and yellow flowers... either way.
-Be kind and patient and serve others every day.
-Be obediant, faithful, and follow the Lord's commandments all the days of my life. Remain temple worthy.
-Graduate college
-Eventually ride in a motorcycle sidecar

That's all I really want.

I have no idea how we got from me wasting my mornings down to this, but let it be known that from this point forward I will wake up each morning at 9 am or earlier!