Jumbled Thoughts

// Nathan and I went with my parents to the Tulip Festival this past weekend and bar the fact that it was a total down pour the majority of the time, I found it to be quite lovely. I am a big flower fan, you see and the tulip collection there was breathtaking. In fact it made me want to become rich on the spot and build a garden of that grandeur of my own.

//

// My dear husband unknowingly matched his tie to my dress on Sunday. We looked like we were going to the Prom, it's fine.

// Say hello to Anatomy Sam. I get to sit by this dude every day in class. It's wonderful.

// I am about to complete my very first semester of nursing school and I'm about 3 parts scared out of my mind to become a nurse and 1 part really excited! I am hoping that ratio changes in my favor by the time I graduate. These past few months have been quite an adventure and I've done a lot of things I thought I would never be brave enough to do, but boy do I still have a LOT to learn. I hope someday down the road I will look back on the way I felt as a nursing student and laugh at how nervous and scared I was.

Everyone tells me confidence takes time and experience, but boy do I sure have a lot of those things to go.

Some Awkward Nostalgia For Ya

Totally feeling nostalgic today. Please appreciate this fine video me and my roommates made during 

our first semester of college ever. It is a beautiful rendition of Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like a Woman". These were the days of our awkward freshman dorm living existence in Rexburg, Idaho. Hope you enjoy.

OK so it's super cheesy, and probably one of those things that is only funny and awesome to those that made it, but man does this bring back great memories! Good times. I have been so blessed to have some pretty fan-freakin-tastic friends throughout my life. Love those girls!

Hi, I am still alive.

Because I am a white girl that loves Target I was seduced into buying this lovely doormat. Since cutting back on work to go to school I have exerted every effort to avoid that store but you can only go so long, ya know. I walked in.. this walked out. It's fine.

Spring is the word of the day, people. I was rather bitter about the whole crappy winter we had, because I am a weirdo and love snow, but once all the flowers started blooming my attitude changed rather quickly. Prior to my nursing ambitions I dreamt of being a florist. I love flowers and therefore my table has had continual tulips on it for weeks. 

**fun fact alert** Did you know that if an sick/injured/sad person has flowers in their room it can lift their mood and therefore promote a more speedy recovery? Mood and attitude actually has a very significant impact on the healing process. Give your friends flowers!!

Several weeks ago my family went down to St. George for our annual Shamrock (formerly Spectrum) 10K. We run it every single year and it truly is a joy, assuming that you properly trained for it. The scenery is nice anyway. This year I was not my fittest, however I am happy to announce that I did indeed survive the race and I wasn't the last to cross the finish line!

AND, my mother signed me up for the Disneyland Half Marathon again this year. I can't argue with her. I love Disneyland and I am willing to sacrifice my legs for a summer in order to go there. I have fallen off the bandwagon since, well... #nursingschool and I haven't seen the gym in weeks. I don't plan to see it again until after finals. Hopefully three months is sufficient to train. It should be, right?

Throwback to last year's Disneyland trip! I have been pinning Disneyland pins like crazy because I'm kind of going through withdrawals. Judge me. I also may or may not have been listening to the Cinderella soundtrack from the movie that just came out. I am such a cheeseball, but I absolutely loved that movie. I seriously may never grow up.

Oh, hi.

Nathan and I decided to do a bit of exploring around the mountainside today. It was covered with tons of these blossoming trees! Pretty neat eh.

I must admit that I am embittered towards Old Man Winter this year. I mean I didn't even get to go sledding because hey, there was like zero snowfall, but after seeing these delicate signs of Spring showing up I am getting more excited for it to warm up.

I have been going through mid-terms for the past two weeks and I'm about to rip all of my hair out. I don't think I can bring myself to study one more flash card. I have a love/hate relationship with being a student. I love to learn, I hate obligatory before test cramming. Yuck.

Since beginning school again I have gone from a full time employee to PRN. Meaning I work on an 'as needed' basis. It has been quite the adjustment financially, and to be perfectly frank this has been the poorest year of my married life. With that has come its fair share of frustration and envy of those who seem to have it all together. I had a realization of sorts this week though - money doesn't buy happiness. Cliche as it may sound, it really is true. In a way I am grateful for this period of my life because I think it has caused me to put things back into perspective. Nathan and I have been working so hard for the past couple of years to get ourselves to a point of financial comfort and stability that it has kind of become all we have focused on! Perhaps I have become a little (a lot) prideful, haha and have lost sight of the simpler things in life that are truly the most important. I told Nathan that although this will most likely be the poorest year of our lives, we can choose to make it the happiest as well. Considering there is still another year left before we both graduate, we have plenty of time to refocus our priorities and spend more time working on our relationship with one another and with God, rather than spending all our time worrying about keeping up with the Jones'.

On a completely different note we are running a 10k in St. George this weekend! All of my family is going to be there, and even though I am vastly unprepared for the race, I am really looking forward to it! Wish me luck, my friends.

February Wrap Up

School has been, quite literally, consuming my entire life. 

I have come to determine the entirety of my existence at BYU-Idaho was more about the social aspects than it was about any serious educational pursuits. So to come from my prior experiences of a relaxed, social college life to nursing school has been quite the rude awakening. I feel like I have been really proactive in my education this time around though and it has been very rewarding, despite all the time/sleep/sanity sacrificing that has been done. I'm actually learning stuff, people! It is kind of cool. I like school. I'm a nerd.

Lounging on Sunday with the hubbs. He gets so enthused by constant picture taking.

This is my parent's dog Ripley. Don't let this picture fool you. She is a complete nuisance. Like 1 part cute, 9 parts nuisance.

My husband and I go through these weird kicks where we find something we like and we eat that same thing repeatedly for a while. Maybe that's just me and he just goes along with it? I don't know. Anyway for a while it's been Roxberry. We love Roxberry smoothies. Before it was the Slurp/Swig whatever floats your boat. Before that it was Sonic drinks/shakes, at one point it was Papa Murphey's pizza. Anyone else have this issue?

Whelp. I wish I could've formulated some sort of substantial, well thought out post for y'all, but this is about as exciting as it's been around here lately, and I have my doubts that anyone would want a recap of all my homework sessions.

So with that, I bid you all adieu.

A Lifetime Ago

That girl in the picture there, that was me once. A clueless eighteen year old without a care in the world. 

Sometimes I forget what it was like back then. Not that it was all that long ago, but it sure seems like a lifetime to me.

Time is a strange thing, isn't it? We wake up day after day, and slowly those days turns to months, and the months into years. Before we know it fine wrinkles begin gathering at the corners of our eyes. Smiling lines that crinkle up, to never smooth out again. 

People come and go, phases pass, opportunities present themselves. We change. Oh how we change. Slowly God takes our rough molds and if we allow it, smooths us into the beautiful sculptures he intends us to be. 

But all that takes time, and time moves like molasses, so slow that we hardly even notice we're moving at all. Until one day we wake up and realize just how far we have come.

"I've already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be." - Joan Didion

I think I've lost touch with that girl. She was much different than myself. Naive, carefree, dreamy, rose colored glasses type of a girl.

I still wear those rose lenses though, but maybe with a lot more caution. Truth be known I'm no longer dreamy - I'm realistic. Not naive, but anxious. Not carefree, but a perfectionist. The whimsical ways of my youth changed by the weights of adulthood.

I don't long to be that same girl again. No, I've learned too much, grown too much. I don't condone longing for what is passed and gone, and I love the person I am now. However there are some valuable lessons to be learned from our prior selves. I think I'd like to recapture that dreamer I used to be, not worry quite as much. Let life flow in its natural current, rather than trying to swim against it. Allowing the story to unfold as it may.

I'm old enough now to realize our lives don't fit the perfect molds we fashion in our minds, in fact things rarely work out as we plan them to. That's all good though. God watches over us, he's the real author to our stories after all, and I trust him more with the pen than I'd trust myself. 

Of course we always have our agency. We're not required to choose certain paths or go certain ways, but I believe there are better ways than others, and I do believe that God has certain things in mind for us. That's why we've got to learn to go with the current, and allow God to be the driver in our lives. He knows the way. Proud man says otherwise, surely I've been guilty of that way of thinking - that I know best! But I don't. Truly I don't, and neither did that girl in the picture there. 

Some Days

// Some days a large Diet Dr. Pepper is an absolute necessity. Oh wait, that's everyday (ha).

// After spending an entire week studying harder than I ever have in my life and then pulling a marathon 13 hour studying day yesterday, and then proceeding to only get a sub par score on my first nursing test.... I weep [insert crying here]. I've been trying to distract myself from my emotional distress by looking up funny memes of Pinterest. Heaven help me.

// Has anyone tried the new red velvet Oreos???? YUM to the E!!! They are delicioso and anyone who claims to be a red velvet fan or really just any decent target-going, white girl must try these! SO good.

// Valentine's is coming up. The hubby and I have decided to go out on Friday night as opposed to Saturday in an effort to avoid some crowds. Hopefully the rest of Utah County doesn't have the same game plan as us! I remember the first year we were married we lived in Idaho and were an hour and a half away from any type of chain, sit-down restaurant. So after driving to the Idaho Falls Olive Garden, in an attempt to have a decent Valentine's Day meal, we were told it would be a 2.5 hour wait. And guys, when you have to drive 1.5 hours to get to a restaurant that's name is NOT Frontier Pies, you don't just turn around. So we waited the 2+ hours just so we could eat some freakin zuppa toscana and endless bread sticks. Absolutely ridiculous! We learned our lesson and we are no longer newbies, needless to say.

// I wish I had something more substantial to say but truly I do not. My brain is totally fried. Peace out, my friends.