Yeah I'll have the double, with fries.

I don't have really anything in particular to say so I'm just going to spew all over this blog whatever goes through my head in the next fifteen minutes.

Today, I conquered a fear of mine. I am afraid of driving through busy places I'm not familiar with. Derby is not such a busy place, but Wichita, which is quite close to it, is. Wichita has 600,000 thousand people in it. That's a lot, alright. Driving through Wichita scares the dang crap out of me. But I knew had I to do it, because later tonight I have to go to Institute and it's in Wichita and I've never driven there by myself before. So I practiced. And I thought to myself, Hannah, you're going to climb this mountain. You're going to overcome this fear. So I put the pedal to the metal and I drove to the institute building. Successfully. Without getting in a car wreck. I was scared to death but I did it and now I feel quite proud of myself.

Also, one of my weaknesses is not being able to say what I mean very well. I'm not very articulate. I feel one thing and I just can't possibly explain it in any sort of understandable manner. It's really quite unfortunate. I try and I try, but the words that come out of my mouth just don't do what I actually feel justice. I wish I was a more powerful speaker, and had a little more charisma, but alas, I don't. I'm shy and get uncomfortable with things that are unknown to me. I like to feel safe, secure. But I purposely force myself to do stuff that's out of my comfort zone because I know that it's good for me. But it literally tortures me to do it. Serously, driving that car downtown today scared the crap out of me, but I did it anyway, and now I feel slightly better about life but it still makes me nervous.

And surprise, surprise, I am homesick. Although to a lesser extent than I was at the beginning of college so I guess it's slightly better. It's a different sort of homesick. It's more like, wow. I really miss my home and people that I love and my friends and family and going to the sticky shoe on saturday nights and eating maverick yogurt. I also really miss my grandparents. I miss talking to them all the time and going over to their house. But I understand that this is the place I'm supposed to be right now so it's ok, but I just really miss home. And I know that the world isn't going to stop just because I'm not there right now. Home is going to continue changing and the people are going to continue to move on with their lives. The simple fact of the matter is that while I can always go back there, and I can never really go back. You pickin' up my drift?

But somehow this is all for the greater good. I know it is. Also I know God is going to take care of me. I. Know. It. The big man upstairs isn't gonna let me down just as long as I am obediant. That's all that matters when it comes down to it. Faith and obediance, faith and obediance. Remember that, kids.

And I can't forget about that boy that has a crooked smile. Because I like it. And sometimes I wish he'd go away but I know that's stupid of me, because I really really appreciate hearing from him every week. It means so much to me, he means a lot to me. But since I have a problem with saying what I actually feel I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell him that without sounding like a complete idiot.