A Letter To Me

12/4/2012

Dear Hannah. You are marrying Nathan Wayne Hartshorn in a mere 25 days. Do you know how fast that is going to fly?! Then you will get to sleep in the same bed as him and kiss him all you want. Then you will get to go to the grocery store together and bake cookies together and go on walks and even wash your clothes in the same washer. You must promise yourself today that down the road when all the kids are screaming and crying and there are bills to pay and he's going bald and you've got wrinkles on your face, you must remember to smile and kiss him on the cheek and tell him how dear he is to you. Never lose sight of the tall, handsome, blue eyed boy you fell in love with. Never forget the time he bought you chocolates and one of those spill proof plastic cups you love. Never forget the time he cried when you were dancing at that park in AF because he felt so lucky and happy to have you. Never forget the times when you shed your own tears of love and joy for him, because that man loves you. And you love him. And he may not be perfect and you certainly aren't either. But his heart is full of love and he works hard and is kind and willing to try his best. Make love often. Kiss him on the lips when gets home from work and scratch his head because you like the way he looks like a puppy dog when you do. Leave him notes and words of encouragement. Clean his car. Pray for him. He loves you dang it! And you love him. Don't ever forget that. You two are forever. Forgive and forget. Don't sweat the little things. You both deserve to be happy and madly in love the rest of the eternities so don't stop working at it.

Sincerely,

Yourself

The Truth About Happily Ever After

marriage is work.

Like anything else in life, you actually have to work at being married. In fact you probably have to work more at that than anything else.

I was reading a book yesterday about marriage and relationships, it mentioned the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce. I already knew that, but what startled me is that half of the 50% that stay together report being unhappy about their marriage.

Well that's pathetic.

So only 50% of married people are actually satisfied about being married?

I can guarantee you that 99% of those people are completely happy with their marriages on day one, none of them intended to divorce, none of them fathomed the fact that one day they might become unhappy.

So what the heck changed?

Forgive my frankness on a subject that I have limited knowledge on, but I believe that the vast majority, if not all of divorces are the product of selfishness on the part of one or both parties. Granted, I respect and believe that there are indeed legitimate cases for divorce, one of which would be abuse in any shape or form. I also respect the fact that it is not always both parties fault, often times there are innocent victims. I definitely want to be sensitive towards that, however I believe that there is always at least one person who was selfish who is to blame.

Also I believe that the reason that the 50% of unhappily married people are unhappy also is a result of selfishness on one or both ends.

Life is not perfect, and there will inevitably be challenges, trials, and unexpected turns that can cause misery and sadness. That is normal and expected. In life you can plan on having times where you aren't feeling your best or you are feeling sad. However, prolonged and voluntary unhappiness is selfish.

Why do I say that?

Well by choosing to be unhappy you are automatically disqualifing yourself from doing the good in this world that God intended you to do and also you are dragging a bunch of others down with your own negativity.

Happiness is a choice.

What makes this statement particularly challenging in a marriage relationship is that it has two parties, and both of those parties have their own agency. So just because you choose to be happy doesn't necessarily mean your partner will. This is rough, and sad, but also something you have to understand before entering a marriage - you can never guarantee what the other person will choose to do. What you can do is to get to know the person and their character as much as possible before entering a marriage, and if you judge their character to be good the best you can do is hope and pray that they will remain faithful, true and use their agency for right and support them to the best of your abilities, and what is even more important is that you make sure YOU are doing YOUR best. When one person in a relationship can see that the other person is doing their best, they will more than likely be inspired to do the same. You reap what you sow. Most of the time.

Nathan's branch president told us that if each of us give 100% to our relationship, then on the days when one person can only give 50%, or even 0%, there will still be 100% there to buoy up the relationship. These are wise words. Always be giving your all.

Although I do believe God intended all of us to be happy and receive joy in the marriage relationship, he did know that we aren't perfect, so our marriage relationships won't be either, but we as human beings can be doing a whole heck of a lot better than we currently are.

Really people, more than 25% of the marriages in this world can be happy and successful and lasting. We can do better than that.

By choosing to be happy, giving our all, and being our best, forgiving freely, and most importantly by giving to each other and loving each other with a little more tenderness. We'd all have much better and more fulfilling relationships if we did.

 

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."

- Thomas S. Monson

countdown

30 more days till my wedding day.
26 more days until Christmas.
20 more days until mah birthday and my official entry into the non-teenage world.
15 more days until school is out. YEAH.

'tis the season to be jolly.

 

 

overall I would say we are very attractive people. don't you agree?

Refined

It is always weird and somewhat comical to go through old pictures of yourself and see how much change you have gone through. You look at yourself and think, wow I am not that person anymore. But really, you are. You still are that same person. You have just become a little more refined.

1995

So cute. A time of innocence, popcicle eating and overall wearing.

2002

Oh the joys of beginning stages of puberty. 

2008

Wow, such an awkward time for me. Remember my eighties obsession that sprouted in the ninth grade? Well I didn't seem to grow out of that until halfway through my sophomore year. The majority of my clothes required shoulder pad removal before usage and I had a tendency of wearing over-sized bows on my head. Honestly people, take my advice, if you are going to do vintage, do it right i.e. please nothing your-grandma's-closet-circa-1980 type stuff.

2009

The year of my first Prom, and also the year I had begun to develop some sort of a style acceptable to the general public. I cut my hair short, and fell in love for the first time.

2010

It would appear from the first picture that I had a small relapse of my eighties stage, that also happened to be the night I got pulled over for the first and only time. Imagine that conversation going on. Oh why hello Officer, why yes, I am wearing spandex and a ripped off the shoulder tee. No I had no idea how fast I was going! It was a year Shelby and I discovered we had very white thighs, and the year I become infinitely more attractive as I finally grew into myself and figured out how to do my own hair.

2011

The year I graduated high school, discovered the joys of long johns and moved out to college with my best friend. A year of learning and struggling to find my niche in the world of adulthood. A wondrous time, but also a difficult one.

2012

Remember that time I moved to Kansas? What about the time I rode horses like everyday? This year I  fell in love with that wonderful man, got engaged, and will also get to go through the temple, get married, change my last name, and enter into my third decade of life. Certainly 2012 is a year to remember.

Reminiscing is fun. Life is kind of weird, but definitely worth living. Even if you have to go through a bunch of awkward stages to get to the good stuff. But you know what, looking back on myself in my former years - bad haircuts, shoulder pads, heartaches and all, I realize I wouldn't trade those experiences for the world.

Weekend Projects

Why hello there, are you looking to reupholster an ugly green vinyl chair? (or any sort of ugly chair for that matter). Well then you have come to the right place. Let us begin.

Remove the seat portion of the chair.

Find your fabric of choice, and cut it out to fit the seat.

Find some sort of way to attach fabric to seat. I like this fabric glue, it is quick, easy, and relatively painless (also cheap!). However one could also use hot glue, and small nails.

After having attached all the sides of the fabric with the adhesive of choice, you may then cut off the excess fabric so it looks neat and fits snugly to the seat.

Now you can enjoy your genius and highly professional craftiness. You may now also reattach seat to chair.

Here is Nathan and his sisters, helping me paint Nathan and I's new chairs! And you see that table in the background, the green one? We are painting it bright red! It's gonna be awesome.

Happy crafting, ya'll.

7:40 pm on a tuesday

sometimes

you will needlessly take fairly dorkish pictures of yourself with your new cowboy boots that came in the mail today

sometimes

you will search under the couch cushions for spare change to buy yourself a diet pepsi out of the vending machine

sometimes

you will read floral magazines while taking a bubble bath because it is therapeutic

sometimes

you will laugh at the current state of your bangs in the above picture. do I know how to use a hair brush? obviously not

and sometimes

you will happen to be the only byu-idaho student who hasn't left for thanksgiving break yet

thank goodness for itunes movie rentals, 8 Seconds here I come

oh why yes, I do enjoy movies about bull riders

Wedding Bells and Ohio

I am currently getting urges to sing songs from the musical My Fair Lady.

cuz I'm getting married in the morningggg after all.

Not really. But my most wonderful friend Melissa got married this morning! So proud of you Melissa deary. The three cowgirls pictured above, one of which is yours truly are all getting married within a month of each other. Cass got married a month ago as of yesterday, Melissa is gettin hitched today and then next month it'll be my turn. Kind of cool how that worked out. Love those two ladies, they are awesome. Thank you for preceding me in marriage and setting a good example by going to the Temple! 

I have great friends.

Not only has the facebook news feeds been crawling with engagement announcements but also mission call openings.

My best friend since I was 9 years of age, Shelbster Frampton, opened hers on Sunday afternoon. She is going to Cleveland, Ohio! Can I get a woot, woot? 

Yeah. Good work Shelby Sue. I am so happy for you, and so proud of you, missionary work will be a more than suitable occupation for your next year and a half of life.

It is quite interesting to see all of the new directions people are currently taking in life. Seems like just about every girl from the graduating class of 2011 is either getting married or going on a mission! Both honorable things to do. It makes me all giddy inside to see everyone making such great decisions to go to the temple, start families, and bringing other families into the gospel. 

Life is rich, ya'll.