Since being in a relationship with my dearest Nathan I have learned a lot of things. One of those lessons is having patience, long suffering and faith in the other person. When you love someone you have to set aside your selfish desires and love the other person for exactly who they are - weaknesses and all.
Relationships can be wonderful and beautiful, but they are hard. That is absolutely inevitable. It's a lot of work to be in one, but you know it's right when it's worth it to you to work at it because you love the other person and want to be with them. You learn things from them, you grow from them.
I realized today when I went to go talk to my Bishop that the most important thing is to have charity for the person you are in a relationship with.
Charity - complete selfless love.
That means not seeking out what you want, but what the other person wants. Being patient with them and with who they are and accepting them. NOT trying to change them. But rather encouraging them to be their best and being there for them, and loving them through difficult times and challenges.
In a relationship you face challenges, you face roadblocks, you go through rough patches. But when something is broken you fix it. You don't give up on it. That's how you build your relationship. I think people all too easily leave something because it gets hard. But the fact of the matter is, a relationship is not always fairy tale lovely dovey always happy. Sometimes you are going to get hurt, sometimes you will be frustrated or let down, but if you learn to have charity - Christ like love for the other person then you will want to work through those things, and if you put forth the effort you will come out even stronger than you were before. Most problems and conflicts could honestly be avoided if we all just had a little bit more charity towards one another.
Charity is definitely something that I have to work at. I am human. I still have a natural inclination to be selfish, and I probably will my entire life. But I can overcome that and try my best by following my Savior and learning to have a little bit more patience and understanding in my life towards others.
I am no Dr. Phil. I don't have years of experience, so maybe I don't have that many qualifications to be handing out advice or anything, but what I have come to learn is that Charity is such a crucial thing to have in a relationship. Charity is key. Learning to love selflessly and that is what I am working on.
"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."
- Elder Marvin J. Ashton
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